The shifting sands of multiple sclerosis
2003
Desperate to escape bone-freezing cold, I reach
my scorching parked car and press my face and body against it.
It’s Phoenix, sweltering 115 degrees of dry heat,
bypassers warn of burns.
They were right, my face shows those marks today.
Heater on high, windows and doors closed, parked in the sun,
others think my air conditioning is cooling. Good.
I wonder, “If I die, will my death certificate say heat was cause of death?
Frozen feels more accurate”.
My reality is not visible for others to see.
2004-2005
Searching for cause of physical terrors frighteningly unpredictable,
Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis comes slowly, brings relief and fear.
My reality is named. I am not crazy.
What body function will I lose next?
Another day, loss of another freedom.
2006
Daily shots gradually reduce random attacks
from multiple times monthly into occasional events
From freezing at 115 to not able to function in the heat
“Heat”? What a strange term.
How can 70 degrees be devastating heat?
2007- 2016
I move with my cane, walker, and daily shots
to snow and ice terrain.
New medicine changes my life into
a decade of success.
Few lesions, time to heal in between.
2017
MS research offers new options, exciting and terror-filled.
Standing on the shifting sands of Multiple Sclerosis do I
Join MS research, risk paralysis and/or death?
Join MS research, contribute to expanding medical treatments,
and gain future freedom for myself ?
Standing on the shifting sands of Multiple Sclerosis.
my journey continues.